
Funeral home with sign in front - FREE WIFI

(standup comic) So these two guys go into a bar, and... hang on a sec. I'm being heckled via SMS.

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(mother to older child as younger child, holding a Webby award, sticks out tongue at older child) Now, honey, of course we're still very proud of you for making the swim team. It's just that, well, a

(commander briefing troops) Now in case of capture, you've been issued with suicide capsules... and yes, McCormack, they're 100% vegan.

(two workers to a third co-worker arriving for a meeting) Uh, Gail, how about you go collaborate by yourself for a while?

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(person walking down the street, reading text off a mobile phone, oblivious to the giant hand about to close around him) Text: Henrietta44 is now following you on Twitter. Blue Mike is now following you on Twitter.

(HR person to laid-off employee) Well, yes, but we don't call it 'down-sizing' any more. We call it our 'Freedom to Blog' program.

A person waking up with an HTML /head tag in the bed next to them. Caption: How the HTML mafia sends a message.

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(one young man to another) All we talk about these days is pageviews and ad revenue. Whatever happened to the two crazy frat boys who just wanted to YouTube ourselves chugging habanero sauce and proje

Old West sheriff to prisoner: Rustlers, we hang. Claim-jumpers, we hang. But fer you comment-spamming fellers, we use a melon-baller.