twitter

Kindly pee into this cup and hand over your login and password

Kindly pee into this cup and hand over your login and password

(boss to employee) Your work here has been flawless. But unless you start following people back on Twitter, your days at this company are numbered.

Dare to be weak

When it comes to engagement, social media is the art of the possible

Running from social networks

I can't believe it!! Your organization isn't on Twitter? You don't have a Facebook page with discussion groups and a wall? You're not on MySpace, Bebo and FriendFeed?! OMFG, that's so weak! What are you thinking?!

Well, maybe you're thinking, "We don't have a large organization, and we have very few resources." Maybe you're thinking, "Some platforms make it easier to manage conversations than others." And maybe you're thinking, "I'm going to put our limited resources and finite attention where they'll do the most good."

You know what? Good for you.

I'm in ur ballot box, rigging ur results

I'm in ur ballot box, rigging ur results

(Iranian government official) See, Twitter's a problem, but it's manageable. Where we're totally having our our asses handed to us is with the LOLcats.

H1N1? You infected my battleship!

H1N1? You infected my battleship!

(one scientist to another) Technically, it's swine flu. But we're calling it H1N1 because the hashtag's shorter.

@SFUWoodwards, here's your camera

Winner in our Twitter contest gets her Flip HD

@SFUwoodwards

Turns out it really is better to give than receive! We just handed Julie Ovenell-Carter, a.k.a. @sfuwoodwards, her brand new Flip MinoHD video camera, her prize in Social Signal's first Twitter contest.

No peeing on the floor, and no outranking me on Technorati

No peeing on the floor, and no outranking me on Technorati

(woman to a dog in her lap) Fine, you can have an account. But if you wind up with more followers than I have, I'm deleting your furry ass.

Tweaning

How Twitter groups can make your twittering more a meaningful, conversational and connected

Twitter thoughtfully

Friend and SoSi advisor Leda Dederich asked for my thoughts on Virginia Heffernan's New York Times Magazine article last week, Let them eat Tweets. Heffernan riffs on Bruce Sterling's recent SXSW keynote, and writes:

I have only lately begun to wonder whether I’d use Twitter if I were fully at liberty to do what I liked. In other words, I’m not sure I’d use Twitter if I were rich. Swampy, boggy, inescapable connectivity: it seems my middle-class existence has stuck me here.

Heffernan is just about my favourite writer on tech culture, and while I can't concur with her subjective experience -- my fantasies of wealth involve having more time to spend online, not less -- her article prompted me to think about how much of my Twitter use is compulsive, rather than fulfilling.

When bad things happen to good networks

Vendetta of the week: Twitter ponzi schemes for building followers

Vendetta of the week

Tonight i stumbled across a website that promises to get you more than 20,000 followers. How? The same way that letter you got in grade 2 promised to make you $500 dollars.

What's wrong with this picture?

Three weeks to Twitter credibility, part 3

Twitter quickstart: 10 ways to make time to Twitter

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Whether you're an ambivalent Twitter newbie or a chronic tweeter in the throes of a growing addiction, your tweeting is going to take time that you're currently using for something else. Even if you're following our guide to effective tweeting in 5 minutes a week, those five minutes have to come from somewhere. So here are my suggestions for activities you can pare back on -- or give up entirely -- to make room for tweeting.

Three weeks to Twitter credibility, part 2

Twitter quickstart: Effective twittering in 5 minutes a week

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If you're new to Twitter, you want to quickly eliminate the five sure signs you're a Twitter newbie:

  1. An empty user account with no tweets (see part 1 of our quickstart guide for 21 tweets that can help you avoid that fate!)
  2. Following fewer than 20 people (Oprah, please take note!)
  3. Having fewer than 30 people following you (Oprah, your 472,000 followers have got you covered on that one.)
  4. Updating less than twice a week
  5. Letting your feed peter out after an initial flurry of posts

Here are some quick ways you can follow people, attract followers, and keep your feed regularly updated -- all in less than five minutes a week. You read that right: five minutes!

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