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friend
Friend (n.): Acquaintance. Dimly-recognized name. Means of driving up your numbers on LinkedIn.
(one businessperson to another) It was great meeting with you. Have your people friend my people.
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Why can't I qwit you?
(Late at night, a man on the doorstep of a woman's house. The woman has just been awakened.) Hi! We've never met, but I noticed a few hours ago that you stopped following me on Twitter. Mind if I ask you why?
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Friend friend
(woman to another woman, looking at a man) He's the kind of guy you want as a Facebook friend, but not as a friend friend.
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